Sayings

There's always free cheese in a mousetrap.

The cost of living is high, but it's worth it.

My mother didn't leave me anything of value, except her wisdom.

What you have put into the kettle comes afterwards into your spoon.

Economists and weather forecasters are the only people who can make an abundant living without ever being right.

The purpose of studying economics is to avoid being deceived by economists.

The paradox of economics: During periods when none of the economic theories are working, all the economists are.

An economist is a man who talks about things you don't understand and makes you believe it's your fault.

If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.

No one has ever repealed the law of supply and demand.

Economics is nothing more nor less than keeping your head as for above water as possible.

If you have to ask what it costs, you can't afford it

He who hesitates . . . buys the stock two points higher.

If you expect to save at all, do it while your salary's small.

A bargain is something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.

A miser isn't much fun to live with, but he makes a wonderful ancestor.

Inflation is a stab in the buck.

Inflation is when you never had anything and now even that's gone.

Inflation has made it possible for only the rich to afford a recession.

Inflation is being broke with a pocketful of money.

Money kills more people than a club.

Money isn't everything; usually it isn't even enough.

Money can't buy you love.

Money can't buy happiness, but it certainly doesn't discourage it.

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund.

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax.

His wealth is superior to him.

Poverty is "Who knows you?"; Prosperity is "I am your relative."

Those who inherit fortunes are often more troublesome than those who make them.

It requires a great deal of boldness and a great deal of caution to make a great fortune, and when you have got it, it requires ten times as much wit to keep it.

A fat purse never lacks friends.

It's just as easy to love a rich man/woman as a poor one.

An expert is a man who makes his mistakes quietly.

Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the Ark.

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking.

A banker is a man who lends you an umbrella when the weather is fair, and takes it away from you when it rains.

Sign above bank teller's stations: To err is human; to forgive is not bank policy.

I'm three hundred percent against inflation.

Inflation is when you pay cash for something and they ask to see your driver's license.

How can you tell when inflation is bad? If you drop a dollar on the street, and you get a ticket for littering.

The candidate was asked what was responsible for inflation. "I don't know," the politician replied earnestly, "but I'm willing to spend whatever it takes to find out."

If the unions were smart, they wouldn't tie salaries up to the cost of living, but to the national debt.

Inflation is when vegetarians aren't the only ones not eating meat.

Inflation is when the product you overpaid for in February is a bargain by midsummer.

I don't know why they couple death and taxes. You only die once.

You've got to admire the IRS. Any organization that makes that much money without advertising deserves respect.

It's not whether you win or lose but how you play the game. Now, if we can only convince the IRS...

Why doesn't money grow on trees?- Because banks own all the branches.

Thanks to this man I've gone from Over-the-Counter to Over-the-Barrel.

Since the crash, my broker sleeps like a baby. He wakes up every two hours and cries.

Life insurance is the only game you win when you die.

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?- It depends on how much insurance the bulb has.

My car insurance is with one of those companies that questions everything. I think I've got the $100 Debatable.

Why is sex like insurance?- The older you get, the more it costs.

The insurance salesman keeps us poor all of our lives so we can die rich.

What's the best thing about turning sixty-five?- No more calls from insurance salesmen.

Business is what when you don't have any, you get out of.

Business before pleasure.

Rule No. 1: The client is always right. Rule No 2: If the client is ever wrong, reread Rule No. 1.

A committee is a group that takes minutes and wastes hours.

A committee is a collection of the unfit chosen from the unwilling by the incompetent to do the unnecessary.

A consultant is someone whose opinion is sought after the decision has been made.

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women.

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking.

Cut your own wood and it will warm you twice.

Labor is the ultimate power of the people.

The real power of labor is that it works.

One man's labor is another man's capital.

A man who works with his hands is laborer. A man who works with his hands and his brains is a craftsman. But a man who works with his brains and the hands of others is an executive.

The players win, not the coach. The best thing a coach can do is get the best players in action and let them do their thing. The coach can lose for you, but he can't win for you.

A Short Course in Human Relations the six most important words: I admit that I was wrong. The five most important words: You did a great job. The four most important words: What do you think?The three most important words: Could you please . . . ?The two most important words: Thank you. The most important word: We.The least important word: I.

An executive is one who never puts off until tomorrow what he can get someone else to do today.

A good account person, when the client tells him to jump, asks, How high and when should I come down?

You can't help liking the managing director-if you don't, he fires you.

I'm retired. But I'm not dead yet.

Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, but the retirement plan is out of this world.

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved.

Words do not make flour.

He who is afraid of doing too much always does too little.

Work is the easiest activity man has invented to escape boredom.

If you're willing to work, others will let you.

Nobody likes hard work better than the person who pays for it.

What more people are looking for these days is less to do, more time to do it in, and more pay for not getting it done.

Just about the time a woman thinks her work is done, she becomes a grandmother.

Women are flooding the work force so they can afford the labor-saving devices that make it possible for them to go to work.

First get the job; then get the job done.

Don't send a boy to do a man's job.

Don's send a boy to do a man's job these days; send a woman.

Make the best of a bad job.

A job worth doing is worth doing well.

If you want the job done fast, give it to a busy man.

Business is a two-way street.

There's no room for sentiment in business.

The customer is always right.

Everyone, in the final analysis, is in business for himself.

According to the latest statistics, there are millions of Americans who aren't working. And there are plenty more if you count the ones with jobs.

It's no surprise that people grouse about their take-home pay. You know why you have to take it home? It's too little to go by itself.

How long have you been working here?- Ever since they threatened to fire me.

It's easy to tell inventory from money. Money's the stuff you can get rid of.

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children.

The best thing about grandchildren is that you're not too busy supporting them to enjoy them.

Slow, Grandparents at Play. Traffic sign in Florida mobile-home park

Better to be born lucky than rich.

Not all luck is good, and not all good is luck.

Lucky at cards, unlucky in love.

Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.

An obstacle is something you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.

Poverty makes a free man become a slave.

Borrowing is the first-born of poverty.

Work is the medicine for poverty.

Poverty without debt is real wealth.

There's none so poor as he who knows not the joy of what he has.

The rich get richer and the poor get children.

It's just as easy to love a rich man or woman as a poor one.

Poverty sucks.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

No guts, no glory.

Kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life.

If you were paid ten cents for every kind word you ever spoke, and had to pay out five cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

When you are dog-tired at night, could it be from growling all day long?

Everybody's shook up these days. Teenagers are upset because they're living in a world dominated by nuclear weapons - and adults are upset because they're living in a world dominated by teenagers.

Age before beauty.

You're only as old as you act.

I have socks older than she is.

At twenty, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it's thinking of us; at forty we discover it isn't thinking about us at all.

Do not resist growing old - many are denied the privilege.

You're not as young as you used to be, but you're not as old as you're going to be, so watch it!

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Youth is wasted on the young.

You're only as old as you act/as you feel.

Long life is a gift that nobody gets to keep.

Life should be measured by its breadth, not its length.

The years in your life are less important than the life in your years.

Old age doesn't keep men from chasing women; they just have trouble remembering why.

What's the difference between the young and the old?- The young don't know what to do, while the old can't do what they know.

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.

What's good about having Alzheimer's?- You're always meeting new people, and you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Why are old people so wrinkled?- Ever try to iron one?

When an aged woman was asked if there were to be candles on her birthday cake, she responded curtly, "No, it's a birthday party, not a torchlight procession."

To die in the flower of age is a life offered in sacrifice.

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If you don't go to people's funerals, they won't come to yours.